June 18th, 2007


(no subject)

I will probably manage a post about Transfabulous in the next couple of days, but a couple of things arose from it which I wanted to note briefly.

One of them was just the fact that I was so caught up in it that I forgot to remember Selena's birthday, but she would have wanted that, and would so have loved to be there and to meet Kate Bornstein. I miss her more than the telling of it; that is all.

I met a woman there, Maire, who was Rachel and Edie's friend back in the TV/TS group of GLF days and we sort of remembered each other a bit. More importantly, I remembered her friend whom she has been mourning for years, the very beautiful Bobby Boyd/Mackenze, a transwoman who passed back in the late Seventies, a few years after I met her from cancer and Huntington's. Bobby did a lot of pinup work back then - if anyone knows of any links dealing with her, I'd appreciate knowing because it's a bit of our shared past we want to rebuild.

And BJ told me that Janet Nolan died a few years back - Janet was a delightful, slightly damaged woman I knew on the SM scene in the 80s. We never dated, but once she took refuge in my flat when the strain of one relationship got a bit much. She was in a state and wanted to be held, but nothing was ever going to happen between us; yet somehow I remember holding her and kissing the tears off her face and kissing the scars and welts her lover had left on her - scars, let us be clear, that were very dear to her and that she had fully enjoyed, and consented to. the inflicting of - and the slightly peach scent of the shampoo in her hair, when much of the actual sex and passion of those years has faded into mental mulch. I hope she is somewhere and that she is happier there.

I would hate fully to accept that our dead are gone for good the way I used to think before it mattered to me.

I can't believe in the immortality of the person, but I am allowed to hope.