Roz Kaveney (rozk) wrote,
Roz Kaveney

Someone posted an attack on me on the Guardian website here. What they said was pretty hateful:

There is a unsubtle truth here gay men don't want to fuck with blokes with fake cocks lesbians want real girly parts surely no shock there.

Roz K aka Chris Biggins in drag is ugly and no one wants to shag it hence the fuss at pride and attention seeking.

Lets party with the glamourous drag queens and forget the ugly trannies and girls with nailed on penises, they are nuttters.

So I replied:

Gosh, well, that's me told.

Ugly and fat and (allegedly) no one wants to shag me...

Those are real killer arguments there, thiadous; I am surprised that the Guardian isn't offering you a column right now. The first two are, after all, a strongly expressed version of what is ultimately a matter of opinion, and the third is a matter of fact on which you have clearly done absolutely no worthwhile research whatsoever - your master has taught you well, young padawan.

I'd just like to point out to Julie Bindel and her supporters how quickly they find themselves in the same camp as ill-mannered trolls and Duanna Johnson's killers once they deny people's rights and start descending to vulgar abuse.

So Julie Bindel rebuked thiadous for his misogyny, which was sweetly gallant of her, I suppose.

And I said - or rather would have said something like this, because they closed the comments while my comment was loading -

'Julie, nice to know that you are still here and paying attention, but I really do not need you to be gallant. As I am sure you have noticed, I can take care of myself. As you will also have noticed, I always disapprove of vulgar abuse, given that it is so much more fun to respond with actual wit and intelligence.

The moment you disrespect people's deepest and most personal choices, you open discussion up to bar-room bigots like thaidous, which makes your disapproval of his comments somewhat hypocritical. You don't regard me as a woman, so why should you care? Oh, I know, because he is using language associated with misogyny - but don't you see that in this matter your instinct to defend me is sounder than your instinct to deny my experience?

The fact of the matter is that, like other trans people, I agonized over my decision for longer than you can quite imagine - for five years during which I considered endlessly the version of your arguments current in radical circles in the 1970s. You act - and I do not understand how you can act - as if you believe I and others like me have never heard these arguments before. Believe me when I say that I considered them for years and found them wanting.

And live with the consequences of my decisions - the danger and the abuse and the health problems. If I am as fat and ugly as thaidous claims, that too is one of those consequences...

Yet I live with consequences that you cannot possibly imagine - I have not regretted a single day of the last thirty years. Most of the time I live in bliss, useful and creative and respected and admired and loved - none of this would have been possible had I spent those thirty years talking to some therapist and hating myself.'

But alas! the Guardian cut off an even more eloquent and heartfelt version of that even as it posted and the world will never know its perfection - interesting that they closed comments just after Bindel stuck her head in and tried to claim a little bit of moral high ground. Luckily, the very last comment was Natasha's - so we got the last word.
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