Roz Kaveney (rozk) wrote,
Roz Kaveney

The Saddest of all Sad News

My friend Abigail Frost was found dead this afternoon in her flat. Apparently she had died in her sleep, either last night or the night before, possibly from complications of her cancer or possibly from side effects of her medication. I spoke to her only a few days ago - on Monday.

I am too devastated to say very much at this point, or possibly ever. I had known her since about 1971 and had been pretty close friends all of that time - and more than friends for a while, just before I transitioned - which was a fairly bad idea in retrospect. Abigail and I did not always treat each other well, but we managed to get past that. Not all of the people in her life managed that - she hurt some of her male lovers quite badly and others broke her.

The world is not kind to intelligent, talented women without a clear sense of direction - she wrote some brilliant journalism about ceramics and textiles, and a lot of very funny fan-writing in zines, but she never found out what she wanted to do. She never acquired any internet skills and never got involved in the on-line culture that ought to have been her natural home. Similarly, she never found a project that engaged her enough to dedicate herself to it - constituency politics a little, perhaps, but New Labour broke her heart a little and the ousting of Oona King by George Galloway a little more, much as she hated the war.

You should all have known her at her best, jabbing away with a perpetual cigarette, cracking wise as if she was at the Algonquin, slightly tipsy and slightly out of control and combining her part-Italian heritage with a very English dryness.

But it was not a story that was going to end well, I guess, and it could have been worse than it was. Thin consolation, though.

She was 57 and I really hoped to know her for another thirty years.
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I'm very sorry for your loss.
Oh, Roz. What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry.
So sorry to hear this Roz xx
I did know her at her best, just a tiny tiny bit, and I'm dismayed. She possessed fearsome intelligence and wit, and that she never got to display them to an audience as wide as she deserved is maddening.

All sympathy, Roz.
Oh, Roz, I'm so sorry.

♥ I'm very sorry.


May 2 2009, 00:20:43 UTC 10 years ago Edited:  May 2 2009, 00:23:06 UTC

I'm so sorry. I only knew her by name (through a friend who is a potter and who admired her writing) The world needs intelligent, talented women in every walk of life. 'Any woman's death diminishes me, because I am involved in womankind' as Donne should have written.
Oh hell. I'm so sorry. We didn't need to lose another smart, articulate woman to the void.



May 2 2009, 00:58:26 UTC 10 years ago

So sorry to hear this, Roz. I met her on my 1989 TAFF trip and again in 1994 on hers. I remember hanging out with her on Jeanne Bowman's front porch in Glen Ellen as she chainsmoked and chatted. As you say, a sad loss.

--Robert Lichtman
I only met her a few times, and found her interesting when I did -- which leaves me with little to say. I send kind thoughts.

Tom Whitmore
Bugger. That's a real shame, I liked her and haven't seen her for many years because of the stupid argument that caused her to drop out of fandom. I should have made more effort to stay in touch.
I'm so, so sorry.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Roz. Thank you for the insight into her life. She reminded me of Susan Sontag....

Eileen Gunn

i'm so sorry to hear th
I'm so sorry. :(
Sympathy, and thank you for everything you did say. So utterly true.
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