Roz Kaveney (rozk) wrote,
Roz Kaveney

The Saddest of all Sad News

My friend Abigail Frost was found dead this afternoon in her flat. Apparently she had died in her sleep, either last night or the night before, possibly from complications of her cancer or possibly from side effects of her medication. I spoke to her only a few days ago - on Monday.

I am too devastated to say very much at this point, or possibly ever. I had known her since about 1971 and had been pretty close friends all of that time - and more than friends for a while, just before I transitioned - which was a fairly bad idea in retrospect. Abigail and I did not always treat each other well, but we managed to get past that. Not all of the people in her life managed that - she hurt some of her male lovers quite badly and others broke her.

The world is not kind to intelligent, talented women without a clear sense of direction - she wrote some brilliant journalism about ceramics and textiles, and a lot of very funny fan-writing in zines, but she never found out what she wanted to do. She never acquired any internet skills and never got involved in the on-line culture that ought to have been her natural home. Similarly, she never found a project that engaged her enough to dedicate herself to it - constituency politics a little, perhaps, but New Labour broke her heart a little and the ousting of Oona King by George Galloway a little more, much as she hated the war.

You should all have known her at her best, jabbing away with a perpetual cigarette, cracking wise as if she was at the Algonquin, slightly tipsy and slightly out of control and combining her part-Italian heritage with a very English dryness.

But it was not a story that was going to end well, I guess, and it could have been worse than it was. Thin consolation, though.

She was 57 and I really hoped to know her for another thirty years.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Roz.
I met the both of you together and was very sorry for the entire TAFF problem but couldn't stay in any type of contact from her. I would have wanted to help, but did't know something that would have worked.

*hug* Please take care of yourself, as well.

Hugs xx
Sorry for your loss.
Roz, you've posted a vivid portrait of your friend. Thank you, and I'm sorry you've lost her. She sounds unforgettable. -- Rachel Holmen


May 2 2009, 19:14:58 UTC 10 years ago

I'm so sorry.

Take care,

Jane Carnall
I'm so sorry that you lost your friend.
Your description of Abi is very much the way I remember her from meeting her at one of the Mexicons I attended, and later when she visited here in Seattle during her TAFF trip.

I am sorry to hear she's gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry, Roz.
/me: unhappy. I liked Abi, didn't have time to get to know her well enough, and find the world somewhat smaller and dingier in her absence.



May 5 2009, 23:06:40 UTC 10 years ago

And in time they arise like The Bird on a Wire because eventually one must fly on - bless us all before we get glazed. i hurt.
I worked with Abi (and others) for several years on the Jersey Yarns newsletter at Helicon the 1993 Eastercon, on the Intermediate Reptile which was then handed out monthly at the 'Ton for a year, and on the ConFacts and ConFictions newsletter at the 1994 Worldcon. She was fiercely committed to bringing the qualities of professional journalism to fannish fanzines and newsletters. She was witty and hard-working and prickly. We fought like cat and dog from time to time, but we did good work together and I remember her with fondness and respect. I was sorry that our lives drifted apart.

I am sorry to hear that she has died, but glad if it was quick and at her own home.

My sympathy also for your loss.
I have just been on the phone with Jimmy Robertson. He doesn't know this site but asked me to pass on his condolences to you Roz.
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