Roz Kaveney (rozk) wrote,
Roz Kaveney

Rows other people were having that I stick my stupid fat head out in the middle of,...

Here's the thing.

When two people, one a close friend, the other someone I respect, and who respects me, are having a barney, I may well have views about who is ultimately in the right. I don't though regard being ultimately in the right as the most useful thing they can be - the important thing is that issues get resolved and people, particularly people in the same community, find ways of getting along.

Sometimes, I try to mediate. Sometimes, being British of a certain generation, I do this behind closed doors - phone calls, personal messages, kind of thing, rather than bang a drum and announce myself as mediator to the world. I try to be aware of the complexities of situations and sensitive to cultural differences and issues around affect - it's not just what people say, it is how people hear what they say.

When that leads to my personal messages being used as evidence in their recipient's LJ, I reflect that the kingdom of heaven may well belong to the peacemakers, but that's because heaven doesn't exist and making peace is a job with no reward.

I am not going to go into specifics on this one, but I suspect I am done with this.

Later In the face of a fair amount of abuse and the accusation that by suggesting that any failure of communication is the old English/American issue, I have been denigrating the language skills of one of the participants in this, I really am walking away from this. Should that accusation and demands that I adjust my attitude become an accusation that I have acted in a racist manner, I shall publish the entire exchange so that all of you can tell me whether I am, in this instance, guilty of fail.

I'd like to say categorically that, whatever else might be involved in my opinion of the person in question, anyone as good as she is at turning any statement one might make from a conciliatory gesture to a personal slur is something of a genius with language rather than anyone whose skills I would criticize in any way whatever.
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