The fact of the matter though is that this year TDOR affected me very deeply - it was partly that it was closer to home this year, and partly that there were so many deaths to brood on. It was partly the sense of belonging to a community and partly too that we all feel so beleaguered - the silence after the reading of the names and the lighting of the candles may not have been five minutes but it was a lot more than two, and no-one suggested it be that long, we just felt it had to be.
Also, coming back to the press and the blogosphere, and thinking about the Reclaim the Night march the same night, made me think about how the trans community really does have to hang together, because a lot of individual people out in the blogosphere care, and places like Shakesville and Bilerico care.
But everyone in the progressive community, and the LGBT community ought to care - two hundred plus people at least were murdered last year for being trans and that really ought to press people's 'They came for the Communists and I did nothing' button. And yes, Sullivan, I am looking at you.
And where, come to that, are the transphobic feminists on this one? I mean, they may despise us, regard us as not proper women, think we are Trojan Whores of the patriarchy or whatever, but do they not care about our being fucking murdered?
Clearly not. They talk about morally mandating us out of existence, after all.
Let's make this explicit. I am calling on Julie Bindel and Germaine Greer and Janice Raymond to denounce the killings of trans people, or be regarded as consciously complicit in those killings by their silence.
There is an atmosphere of our being regarded as less than human, as unimportant, and they have contributed to that atmosphere. There is blood on their hands and they need to do something about it.
And the same applies to the tabloid press - and to comediants who make jokes about us - and to television shows that treat us as two-dimensional punch lines. You have helped murderers feel OK about themselves - fix it.
It applies above all to so-called men of god who regard us as possessed by devils, or in a state of grave sin, or as intrinsically disordered. And who talk about their abhorrence of violence in vague terms, sometimes, but do not accept that there is a creeping genocide of trans people that is a far graver sin than anything they believe us guilty of. Transphobia is a crime and what I was brought up to think of as an occasion of sin and not just a scandal, but something which does what the catechism brought me to think of as giving scandal, that is to say, the sort of sin which causes bystanders to think less well of believers for tolerating it.
So, you holy people, why are you standing by while people are bludgeoning us, shooting us, strangling us and stabbing us? While they are chopping us apart and sticking us in the garbage?
Is that your idea of sanctity? Because it looks to me uncommonly like letting cheap thugs rid you of our presence.
Say it loud - No More Killings of Trans People. Or be judged accordingly.