You know, if it's not too much of a bore
We'd like to know where you hang out these days.
Looked on the Heath, and round the Dilly. More,
checked Foyles, St Pauls, even Hampton Court Maze.
You're nowhere. Checked the girls up at King's Cross
- they hadn't seen you. One pulled out her tits,
said 'he's in here'. You may not give a toss
but having all these girls show us their bits
-not our idea of fun. A full time job.
So, ring us, e-mail us, and make a date
to dish the dirt. Or, if you like, your gob
stays shut and schtumm. Call us at any rate
We've gossip of our own we'd like to share.
Not telling you it burns. It's just not fair.
That's even quite close to being a literal translation rather than just a version.