Roz Kaveney (rozk) wrote,
Roz Kaveney

Movies I see so you don't have to

Some movies get such bad reviews that you go to see them partly from fascinated masochism, and partly because of the things that they thought would make you go and see them when the project was first thought of.

I mean, Keira Knightley as a short-haired English bounty hunter adrift in a Californian caper movie, whirling nunchuks and carrying unfeasibly large guns? Where's the bad in that?

There is a limit to the number of times in which, in the course of any film, let alone 'Domino', you want to hear Keira's splendid enunciation wrap itself around the words 'Keck Aaarse'. There are idiot plots, and then there are plots in which every single member of every opposing faction is an idiot, from the Mafia children who don't know not to be rude to desk clerks who are forging ID for you to the bail bondsman who uses the words 'cut' and 'right arm' in close proximity on a bad line to the Feds who don't know not to fly a helicopter near a hundredth story glass-sided restaurant in which people are firing guns at each other to the Afghan driver who doesn't know that in Hollywood movies the ethnic guy is the one who dies nobly covering the stars' retreat. Tom Waits wanders into the film as a surreal preacher for five minutes in order to remind the anti-heroes and -heroine that they have hearts of gold and need to pay for a little girl's operation. Christopher Walken is wasted, and Jacqueline Bisset obey's Sondheim's Law - 'First you're another sloe-eyed vamp, then someone's mother, then you're camp'.

On the other hand, there is a fair bit of slashiness in the relationship between Domino and her FBI interrogator, Lucy Liu, which I could have done with a lot more of. Especially since in real life the late Domino Harvey was apparently quite a lot less straight than she is played here.

It's not a big request, is it? More Keira slashiness? After 'Bend it like Beckham'?

The other problem with the film is that it is directed by Tony Scott, who never saw a perverse camera angle he didn't like and keeps getting all handheld, monochrome, vaselinelensed, fisheyed on us. Not enough strobing to make my head hurt, but enough to remind me that it might...
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